Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say
I was reading another blogger’s post about 5 years ago and it brought to mind something that I had been struggling with at the time. When my son, Tim, and I played around, sometimes I called him names. Names like “dork”, “goofball”, and “nut”. I never thought anything of it until I was in class with Dr. Charles Gaulden. He showed the class something called the “Feeling Wheel”. It was developed by Dr. Gloria Wilcox, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
I had always felt that he was apathetic about everything. Even things he liked, he really didn’t care about. It was frustrating for someone like me, who’s driven, passionate about what I like and don’t like. I tend to care about things too much. Care for people a whole lot. He didn’t care if his homework was done. Didn’t really care if he was failing in his classes. I didn’t get it!
Anyway, Tim always said he was bored. I asked, “How was your day at school?” “Boring”, he said. We’re on a road trip. He’s bored. Basically, if he wasn’t doing something he liked or wanted to do, he was bored. I didn’t get it. It drove me crazy!
Look at the Feeling Wheel. Specifically in the purple section. Remember, I had never seen this tool before. Look what’s connected on that wheel. ‘Bored’ and ‘apathetic’. What really got me was that the emotion that connects the two is ‘sad’.
WHY IS MY SON SAD? Could it be that those names used in jest, and he really knows they are in jest, are affecting him in a deeper way? The kid has a great life. He’s an only child, who’s adored by his parents and his grandparents.
I’m working on being more supportive. Complimenting him on the little things. Loving on him more. Encouraging him. I’m watching what I’m saying. Because, ” The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” (Proverbs 18:21) and “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.” (Proverbs 15:2).
I want to speak LIFE over my child. I don’t want him live in sadness but in joy. Be careful, little mouth, what you say.
This reminds me of Casting Crown’s song “Slow Fade“.
I shared this post here: